I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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