I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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