I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
