tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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