I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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