I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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