I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
