I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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