Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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