ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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