I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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