bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
