I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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