I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
