Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
