it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
