It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
