In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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