I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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