Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
