Duck Duck Cougar?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
bring money and cleavage
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
