Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
