? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
