Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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