but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
