The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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