whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
