he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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