paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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