Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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