I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
