it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
