it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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