I just made out with a guy for $7.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
