god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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