I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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