it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
