The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it glows. i had to have it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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