i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I faked an abortion last night.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
