last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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