Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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