what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
