Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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