You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
