very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
