you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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