i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I skipped work to stalk him.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
