And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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