i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
