a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
