please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
did i just pee glitter
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